05 8 / 2014

Tootlum
noun;
1.A dear, close friend or partner.
"Of course we can go to the dildo store my tumplety tootlum"

05 8 / 2014

Tumplety
adjective;
1.effervescently vivacious and good humored.
"Of course we can go to the dildo store my tumplety tootlum"

24 6 / 2014

Gockaloo
Noun;

1.A buffoon.

adjective;

2.A laughable subject

24 6 / 2014

Magnumonsia
noun;

1.an untested batch of drugs or vitamin tablet attained by suspicious means or of suspicious quality.
"Dude, that shit is mangumonsia. Don’t take it."

2.A penis of such girth that it painfully stretches any orifice that it enters.
"Dude, that dude has a magnumonsia. Don’t fuck him."

24 6 / 2014

1.It has way too much sodium.

2.One serving doesn’t make you anywhere close to full

3.The Jews are probably right.

Tags:

Permalink

04 6 / 2014

Some of my twelve followers will be happy to find out I’ve been out and about like a pouty kraut lout with coke in his snout!
Today, Wednesday June 4th, I’ll be at Tavern at the End of the World in Charlestown. The show begins at 8. Go and get drunk, get the munchies, order food, laugh your ass off, pay the worst comic for a weepy handjob. It’s a great time!

07 5 / 2014

You’re a dick. I want to put baby powder between by butt cheeks and fart in your face. I want to give corpulent and constipated bronies simultaneous enemas in your bedroom. I want to shove your mini iPad into your mini asshole. Why? Because I might get a cold, or SARS.

03 5 / 2014

Pokemon song. Don’t blame me for any earworms.

21 4 / 2014

Yulls Thoughts #3
What do whales talk about?

18 4 / 2014

People are fucking beautiful. And I mean all of them! Every face and their smiles, every booty beguiles. Whatever their style, even Dick Cheney!
Don’t think Dick Cheney is hot?
If you were stranded on an alien planet for a year, you’d feel differently. One year of roaming alone on a foreign world. One year of solitude and isolation from your human family. Your only companions for one whole year are a race of large moth-like Reptiles with a tonal language called the B-Flats. After one year of masturbating to your own reflection in a lake, you’d fuck Dick Cheney as soon as he landed. You’d insert him wherever was quickest, or as Dick calls it, “enhanced conversation.”
So when you’re at the bar lamenting being stuck with the “ugly friend”, remember: It’s better than having to fuck a B Flat.